Weathered stone marker among dark foliage

Ghosting

February 11, 2022October 27, 2026 blossomingheartsstudio

This post gently touches on themes of abusive relationships and boundaries. Take your time, and be kind to yourself as you read.

“Oh, ghosting,” I sucked in a deep breath. “That’s what it’s called.”

As I pulled into the vacant parking spot at Hobby Lobby, I swung my head to my right to look my teenager square in eyes. “That describes it perfectly.”

Ghosting. Erasing. Pretending one never existed or is dead.

Does that make your tummy twist, your chest hurt a little? Have you ever been erased from someone’s life? I dare say everyone has been “ghosted” at some point in your life.

I’ve heard the pop psychology on the matter. “If a relationship is not working for you, then just move on.” “Your happiness is all that matters.” “Surround yourself with positive people.” “If someone becomes a drag on you, cut them free.”

It all sounds good on the surface. Yet, the world you end up creating is one centered on you – a rather selfish existence with a trail of broken relationships. In the end, are you better off, truly happy?

There are times to have strong, healthy boundaries. Yes, absolutely.

With those who are truly abusive, you may have to set very strong boundaries for the purpose of safety.

There is one person in my life that I have cut off completely, because this person has proven to be an abuser who consistently demonstrates manipulation, control, and an unwillingness to ever consider wrong on their part. In a situation like this, it is appropriate to block, not take calls, etc…

There are others who I have had to have strong boundaries with because they are not healthy relationships for me to have. They may have chosen to attempt to manipulate and control me, or to be abusive in their language or actions towards me in lesser ways. I may have to block or not take calls, etc., but I have not completely cut these people off and will still reach out on occasion to test the waters.

Even with this, let me be clear, I may hold these relationships at a distance because they truly would be toxic for me, but I still pray for them and bless them when I’m led to.

I try to live in a way that my heart is clear, not holding on to hurt towards anyone.

It’s a life of walking in forgiveness, which means that though I may have to hold someone accountable for their actions, (Keeping strong boundaries may be one consequence.) I ultimately leave the judgement of that person to God.

Only He knows all the reasons why a person acts the way they do.

Many times manipulation and control are actions based in fear. Some abusers step into that because they have been abused, and they are afraid of that happening again to them, so they seek control over their world, acting abusively in an attempt to either control others or to push others away. Even seeking power in an inappropriate way is often an overreaction to powerlessness.

Everyone is not my assignment. It’s not my job to fix anyone. That is God’s job, but I can love and value others, even those who I don’t agree with, have different political opinions than me, or have a different cultural back ground than me.

Yet, it has become the norm to throw others who don’t agree with us under the bus, taking up opposing sides whether it be culturally, religiously, or politically. It has become expected to ghost anyone who doesn’t agree with us or who we deem not on our side.

Over the last decade this practice has not only become acceptable, but viral in our society. Erasing people from our lives because they just don’t fit anymore is like tossing out an old shoe that has grown too tight or is scuffed up. We use people for our benefit to walk on, then when they become uncomfortable, we place them in the Goodwill box.

The problem is people, all people, are valuable and made in the image of God. Treating someone like an old shoe that can just be tossed away is deeply wrong.

Weekly, I stroll the halls of a retirement home to care for a loved one. Many days, my eyes meet the sadness in the eyes of those who have been tossed away from families and society, because they aren’t seen as useful anymore.

As covid hit, many of these precious ones, even in independent living, hid in their apartments for fear of the dreaded virus.

One day, a nurse and elderly lady rode past on a golf cart as I entered the building. The receptionist explained to me that the elderly woman on the cart had been hiding in her apartment for a year without coming out, having her meals brought to her door. When the nursing staff finally realized her absence, they convinced her to come out to get some sunlight. She had been forgotten for a year, and no one even knew.

The place I’ve experienced this the most and that has left the deepest wounds is in the church – the one place we should be the most accepted and loved unconditionally.

So many times, the same story is on repeat, over and over. “Well, I just didn’t fit in. I tried to live up to what was expected, but I just couldn’t, so I left the church.”

Where do many go? Into the arms of those who will accept them…the occult, the new agers, etc… By the droves.

Even someone very close to me told me recently, “My non-Christian friends accept me. They love me for who I am. I don’t have to perform for them and try to fit in like I do with the Christians I know.”

Another situation was relayed to me by a close friend – a story I’ve also heard over and over.

She saw a potentially dangerous situation of a child predator being in the children’s ministry area of her church. She had been through similar things as a youth, so her guard was up. When she brought it to the elders of the church, the tables were turned against her. She was condemned for trying to cause trouble, and then ostracized; eventually, she was told to leave the church and others were told not to communicate with her.

In two different rounds of church abuse, I’ve been “ghosted” by several I love. These were not casual friendships, but close friends, some of whom promised to always be there, that we were the “family” kind of friends.

Until… Until maybe I asked too many questions, and was “rebelling” against authority. Until maybe I saw warning signs, and loved people enough to say, “Hey, you might want to watch out for that.” Until, someone else put us on an opposing side, and we were never given a voice, a chance to share our heart.

If leadership of any organization puts themselves above the common people and demands you do what they say with out questioning or else you are “rebellious”, threatening that you will be “ostercized”, that my friend, is abusive leadership. It’s wrong and dangerous.

If leadership has told you to block and have no communication with others because they are “spreading gossip”, I would question the leadership first.

Sure. There are some who may be truly “spreading lies and trying to legitimately tear down leadership”, and in those cases correction and separation may have to happen, but all too often, it is more that the leadership doesn’t want to be challenged, and so they remove any opposing voices. At least, this is what I’ve experienced, not just with one story, but with many, across the board.

You see, when we make ourselves the center of our world, conveniently dismissing, ghosting, erasing anyone that challenges us, opposes us, or is trying to warn us of something they see up ahead because it exposes us or is threatening to what we want to do, even if the person coming against us is wrong in what they are saying, then we are in essence removing the brakes from our train, stepping into pride and elitism, becoming uncorrectable, self-centered gods of our own little kingdoms.

We all need accountability. We all need those people in our lives who challenge us, who are brave enough to correct us – true family that helps us stay the course and keep us humble.

When others who I love have just discarded me without even an explanation as to why, with out even a goodbye, it has left me disillusioned with holes in my heart, like sudden deaths without goodbyes – except you know those people aren’t dead, but that they have chosen to pretend you don’t exist anymore. This to me is far worse than death. It is devaluing of someone, not just as a friend, but as a sister/brother in Christ, as a fellow family member.

The faith of countless have been sacrificed to the enemy on this altar. Countless.

Recently, a friend of mine had a hard conversation with me. She poked me in several tender spots and challenged me. At first, I bristled, seeking a place to hide from what felt like an assault, but then I took a deep breath, and looked into her eyes, and listened, really listened, past the words coming out her mouth, but to the intent of her heart. She loves me. She’s proven it through the years. Her intent for me was to be a better version of me. So, I took what she said and considered it. I countered with some different perspective for her to consider. I took it to my heavenly Father and asked Him for truth about me, the situations. It helped me to grow. It helped her to grow. Instead of putting up walls of defense, we grew closer in our friendship that day. I’m not saying I’m perfect in this. There have been plenty of times I pushed others away because I got offended. But I hope I’m growing up a little.

Many times instead of being known for our love and unity, we have been known by our pride and division.

How many different denominations, sects, little kingdoms do we have to have, because men want to rule their own little world?

Jesus is coming back for one unified bride, one church, one body.

“The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” But quite the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are [absolutely] necessary; and as for those parts of the body which we consider less honorable, these we treat with greater honor; and our less presentable parts are treated with greater modesty, while our more presentable parts do not require it. But God has combined the [whole] body, giving greater honor to that part which lacks it, so that there would be no division or discord in the body [that is, lack of adaptation of the parts to each other], but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. And if one member suffers, all the parts share the suffering; if one member is honored, all rejoice with it.” 1 Corinthians 12:21-26 AMP

The truth is we all need each other. We need our unique giftings, callings, personalities, quirkiness, strengths, and even our weaknesses, because we have a strength to someone else’s weakness, and we can learn together through weaknesses, through differences of opinion.

If we never feel safe enough to let our guard down lest we be kicked out of the family because we aren’t producing or aren’t a “team player”, then we will never be able to experience true love – the God kind of never ending, unconditional, run to meet you, chase you down til the end of your life kind of love. This is the kind of love we are supposed to be known for.

In fact, “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should also [unselfishly] love his brother and seek the best for him.”

1 John 4:20-21 AMP

So, my goal is not to condemn anyone for their decisions, but to shed some light and maybe offer a hand in healing some breaches. Again, I long for the day of restored relationships, of reconciliation.

I also realize there have been some that have pushed others away out of self-protection and deep woundedness from past hurts. I get that. And I’m not really addressing those situations, though I would hope we can come to a place of maturity that even in those situations needed space can be given, safety achieved, and hearts heal in open, loving relationships as family.

Unconditional love should be the fruit of our lives as lovers of God. May we be known by our fruit, by our love.

““Either make the tree good and its fruit will be good, or make the tree bad and its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit.” Matthew 12:33 CSB

What does love look like?

It looks taking the low road, washing some stinking feet, crossing the road to help the wounded one on the other side, humbling ourselves to consider a different point of view, seeking reconciliation by offering the “Please forgive me first”, putting aside my right to be right in some situations (There are times to stand for what’s right.), wrapping the robe around the prodigal who has come home, etc..

“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 CSB

What if we truly saw each other, stopped to listen to someone’s story, and loved the one in front of us? What if we stopped ghosting each other?

What if we were actually known by our love and unity?

I dare say we could change the world.

A man holding his head in his hands at a desk, looking stressed

Christian living, Family, Uncategorized

Paul’s Word for the New Year: ” Holy Amnesia” (a guest blog by Rebecca Davis)

January 14, 2022 blossomingheartsstudio

Through the years, I’ve heard people use the scripture verse from Philippians 3:13 as a way to say that we should ”forget the past”, and that ”going back to painful memories” was wrong. That I was in fact disobeying the directive that Paul puts out in Philippians when the Lord would lead me to a painful memory in inner healing.

I would often feel condemned for ”looking back”.

Yet, I knew God was asking this of me. I do understand now that it can be gentler than the first approach I experienced, and there are certainly ways to lessen the trauma that memories can hold. Jesus is actually really good at protecting us when we let Him.

The Bible in essence is a history book in which God, Himself, makes a point to be sure to put all the good and bad details in. Think David and Bathsheba.

Why then would He want us to not remember our story?

Revelation 12:11 says our testimony, God in our story, is actually part of the way we overcome.

In Micah 7:19, it says God will cast our sin into the sea, and yes, He won’t remember our sin against us. Yet, there is no ”sea of forgetfulness” in the Bible.

God sees and values all of our story: the good, bad, and the ugly. He just wants to step into it with us and redeem it.

As I read this blog by Rebecca Davis, I truly appreciated the way she breaks down the context of this misused scripture by Paul, helping us to understand what kind of “holy amnesia” he was referring to. Enjoy.

Check out this blog and others at http://heresthejoy.com/

POSTED ONJANUARY 6, 2022 BY REBECCA DAVIS

Paul’s Word for the New Year: “Holy Amnesia”

It seems like the last ten years or so, having a word for the New Year has replaced making New Year’s resolutions or goals.

So if the apostle Paul had done this, I’m guessing one of the many years of his Christian life, “holy amnesia” may have been his word (okay, technically “words”).

I’m basing this idea of “holy amnesia” on Philippians 3:13b-14.

“. . . but this one thing I do: forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Paul wanted to forget what was behind him. (Of course what was in front of him couldn’t be forgotten because it hadn’t been experienced yet.)

So “what was behind”—wouldn’t that be . . . everything he had ever experienced?

Did Paul want to forget his entire life?

Hmmm . . . something seems a little fishy here. Maybe it’s because I lifted a few lines right out of the letter he was writing without looking at the rest of the letter.

But before I look at that, let’s look at some other things Paul didn’t forget, or want others to forget.

He didn’t forget past experiences, good and bad

Acts 22 and 26 recount how Paul told his life story, first to the Jews, and then to King Agrippa. His life experiences included very good and very bad things: he had persecuted Christians, and the Lord Jesus Christ had brought him to salvation. From the worst to the best.

Paul certainly didn’t want to forget that.

He called on other Christians to remember things

He obviously didn’t want them to forget everything in their lives.

1 Corinthians 11:2 — Remember me and the ordinances I taught you.

Galatians 2:10 — Remember the poor.Ephesians 2 — Remember that you used to be far from God and are no longer.

Colossians 4:18 — Remember me in my bonds.

1 Thessalonians 2:9 — Remember how we served you.

2 Thessalonians 2:5 — Remember I explained these things to you in person.

2 Timothy 2:8 — Remember that Jesus Christ was raised from the dead, according to the gospel I taught you.

He didn’t forget those who were not trustworthy

Demas was a partner in the Great Work, as Colossians 4:14 and Philemon 1:24 both show. But at the very end of his life Paul lamented to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:10,

“For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica.”

He didn’t forget the betrayal or the pain it caused him.

Only four verses later, here at the end of his life, Paul remembered and made mention of “Alexander the coppersmith, [who] did me great harm.” He warned Timothy, “Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message.

”Indeed, if we forget what untrustworthy people have done to us, then we will walk into the same traps again. If we ignore what untrustworthy people have done to others of the people of God (like Paul), then we ourselves can be harmed by them.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

No, that old maxim is not in the Bible. But it represents a truth. And the way it works is by remembering what was done.

So what did Paul forget? What was his “holy amnesia”?

In this chapter of the letter to the Philippians, chapter 3, Paul warned his readers to watch out for those who “mutilate the flesh” (circumcision), thinking it would make them more holy. He was talking there about the Judaizers: the ones who wanted to give Christians a list of rules to keep in “the flesh (our own ability) to make them more holy.

Sound familiar? (Today it’s called legalism.)

THEN
Paul said, “If anyone wants to boast in ‘the flesh,’ I can top that.” (That’s my loose paraphrase.)

Then he listed his earthly accomplishments, or status symbols:

~ He was a “Hebrew of the Hebrews,” top of his class, doing everything right, keeping the law with the best of them.
~ He even came from one of the “best” tribes.
~ He couldn’t be faulted for his adherence to the law. He was even a Pharisee (which didn’t have the negative connotation for most of the Jews then the way it does for us now).
~ His zeal was obvious through his desire to snuff out anything (that is, Christianity) that didn’t adhere to the religion of his fathers as he understood it.

BUT NOW
He said the ones who are the true circumcised people of God are the ones who live in the spirit and rejoice in Christ Jesus.

Those status symbol physical fleshly sources of pride now were utterly worthless to him. All his accomplishments were worthless because the only treasure worth having was knowing Jesus Christ.

Paul had found, to his amazement, that he didn’t receive approval from God by Keeping the List. No, all the approval came through faith in Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ did it all!

Here’s something else important to notice.

In verse 12 of chapter 3, Paul began using a metaphor. He began comparing his life to running a marathon. God’s Word Translation renders it this way:

It’s not that I’ve already reached the goal or have already completed the course. But I run to win that which Jesus Christ has already won for me. Brothers and sisters, I can’t consider myself a winner yet. This is what I do: I don’t look back, I lengthen my stride, and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus.

That “I don’t look back,” there, that’s how they rendered the “forgetting those things that are behind.

”Paul was running a marathon with his life, and he wanted to finish well. What did “finishing well” look like?He had accomplished great things “in the flesh” and had status among his fellow men. But he completely eschewed that exalted position that was meaningless in the big picture.

He even accomplished great things for the Kingdom of God in the power of the Holy Spirit! This isn’t mentioned here, so I might be extrapolating, but I believe I can say he wasn’t even going to look back on those accomplishments in order to simply rest on his laurels.

No, he was going to keep running toward Jesus. And as I mentioned in my “Obey Your Leaders and Submit to Their Authority” article (which is also a chapter of Untwisting Scriptures #2), he was pointing others to Jesus as he ran. In the same chapter of Philippians, he wrote (again, God’s Word Translation):

Whoever has a mature faith should think this way. And if you think differently, God will show you how to think. However, we should be guided by what we have learned so far.

The “holy amnesia” for us

It’s important to understand what the “this way” is that we’re supposed to think if we have a mature faith.

It’s not that we forget past grief or betrayal. Actually, one of the best ways to fully heal from it is to remember it and process it with the Lord’s presence.

It’s not that we should forget the experiences of our lives. They have played their part in shaping us as to who we are today. Wisdom learns from experience.

We certainly shouldn’t forget the great things the Lord has done for us or the truths He has taught us, or our obligation to the poor and needy.

And . . . Paul didn’t even “forget” his fleshly, earthly, legalistic accomplishments. After all, he was able to list them right there.

His “holy amnesia” was about focus. Where he was turning his eyes as he ran his marathon.

Was he going to look behind him and pat himself on the back for his accomplishments?

No. Doing that—in a race or in life—is one of the surest ways to stumble.

His “holy amnesia” turned him from past accomplishments and pointed him forward, toward the Lord and His righteousness.

I’ve never chosen a word for the year, but maybe if I did, I might also choose “holy amnesia.

”As we mature in our faith, let’s all be focused this way. And may 2022 be a year of the greatest blessing of all: seeing the Lord Jesus more clearly in our lives.

Happy New Year.

*****P.S. I also wrote briefly about Philippians 3:13 three years ago in “How to Handle Those ‘Forgive and Forget’ Scriptures.” You can read that article here.

Paul’s Word for the New Year: “Holy Amnesia”

Sprigs of green leaves against a white background

Christian living, Seasonal, Uncategorized

Mistletoe Kisses

December 20, 2021December 24, 2021 blossomingheartsstudio

“I’ll be back in a bit, hon,” my new husband shouted back over his shoulder, as he hurried out the door of our small apartment.

“I wonder what’s he’s up too?” I pondered.

An hour passed, and my mind began to race wondering what trouble he might be getting into. We had been married less than a year. Our small Charlie Brown Christmas tree leaned in the corner with the few ornaments we had inherited from our childhood dangling.

An antique ornament of Mary and Joseph in a faded yellow dome took center stage on the front of our tree.

My life was completely different now.

I never really thought I’d ever get married. Didn’t think anyone would ever want me.

Yet, somehow I’d always dreamed of having a healthy, happy family one day. An unrealistic dream, I thought – something so unlike what I had had growing up.

During the first few months of our young marriage I had found myself pacing the floor at night unable to sleep. Trapped. Trapped by a piece of paper. A covenant I had agreed to be with this one man I had dated less than a year for life, but as the months had passed, I had begun to settle down a bit.

My eyes fell on the simple manager scene under the tree. An uncertain young husband, a newly wed wife holding onto to a promise, and a baby – a vulnerable, innocent lamb. They had a dream too – a dream that this child would one day save the world.

The scuffling of feet at our door returned my attention to the thought of “Where is Paul?” Someone bumped the door, then knocked. “He has a key,” I thought, but I got up to see who it was.
But then his muffled voice confirmed. “Open the door, hon.”

The crispy air nipped my cheeks as I swung open the door to a man with a grin beaming from ear to ear. In his arms, he held tightly the largest bundle of mistletoe I’d ever seen. My fears melted into joyful shock.

“What in the world?” I stammered.
He pushed his way through the front door with it, and placed it on the table, which it now covered. “Merry Christmas!”

He might as well have brought home a buck he had shot for Christmas dinner. I laughed.

“What are we going to do with all this mistletoe?”

“What do you think?” He smirked and then blushed.

“We have to share some of the wealth here, don’t you think?” We had other friends who were young married, all of which, whose names suddenly popped in my head.

I looked back at my now green covered table. “How did you manage all this?”

He smiled again, this time a proud, Tarzan-like smile. I chuckled again. “Well, I had a little help.” He paused. “You know the property at church is pretty large with lots of trees. I thought I had seen some mistletoe in them, and well, I thought it would be fun to have some hanging up for Christmas.”
Laughing to himself, he said, “I got over there and Dan, the grounds guy was out with his backhoe.”

“Oh no. What did you do?”

“Well, there were no low hanging boughs, so he offered to lift me up in the bucket to grab some of the high hanging pieces.” His chest almost burst with pride.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He got his kiss before the mistletoe ever got hung up.

That happened 24 years ago now. We have had a lot of ups and downs, been through a lot of very difficult things together, and a lot of beautiful times. This still holds as one of my favorite Christmas memories though for many reasons.

Outside of all the kisses that year, it reminds me of the simple thoughtfulness of blessing someone you love with the more than enough. just because.

The gift was extravagant – it was way more than we could ever use. Sometimes, because we hear the story of Jesus’s birth over and over, we lose the extravagance of it all – the awe-struck wonder of God sending His own son to be a man, a man of sorrows, acquainted with our pain, our grief to save us from our sins. It wasn’t a last minute ditch effort on God’s part either. It was methodically planned before the creation of time itself.

God blessed us with the more than enough, with the greatest possible gift with His son, Jesus.
I had been tempted to reject my husband’s gift that day, because it just felt too much, like i knew I didn’t deserve to be loved that way.

God’s love is the same way, given freely, not because we’ve done anything to deserve or earn it. It’s like He’s standing at the door with His arms full of unconditional love – His love looks like a baby who came to save us.

Will you receive His gift today? You won’t regret it. And then you can share that gift with others. There is always more than enough.

Christian living, Family, God encounters, Newsletter, Uncategorized

Burial Plots to Rose Beds

November 22, 2021October 27, 2026 blossomingheartsstudio

This post gently touches on themes of trauma and broken relationships. Take your time, and be kind to yourself as you read.

Many years ago, I sat across from my pastor as he pulled out a sheet of paper. “What is your goal in life, Carolyn? What do you dream of becoming one day?” As a young married woman with little clue, I stammered.

“We want to help families be healthy,” I paused. “I always dreamed of having a healthy family, but also to help others. We want to have a place where families have resources to help them.”

Sincerely, he looked at me with tenderness as he picked a pen. He drew one dot. “This is where you are.” Across the page, he placed another dot. “This is where you want to be.”

Then, he did the unexpected.

He drew a crazy, curving line all over the page, until one dot finally connected to the other.

“You expect point A to be a straight line to point B.” He raised his eyes to meet mine, smiling mischievously. “Carolyn, God always has different plans. He has to take you on a journey with him to reach point B, and it will curve, twisting and turning, doing loop de loops sometimes. Yet, it is always His kindness in leading the way He does, because it’s what we learn on the journey from point A to point B that prepares you to walk in that new place.”

This has played out in my life so many times that I could never have imagined then all the many twists and turns there would be.

This blog is about one of those journeys – a new bed of roses from a burial plot.

Last summer, I published my new book, “The Invitation”. It’s a compilation of some very hard twists and turns – life lessons learned from my healing journey – in a story form, with artwork that goes along with the stories, along with letters from the Lord. It’s personal. It’s vulnerable glimpses into my heart from various encounters with the Lord on my healing journey.

The letters from the Lord included are very precious to me, because He gave them to me at an extremely tender turning point in my journey, a point when I was finally beginning to trust Him, finally able to begin to feel His love and experience His joy.

At that time, several beautiful friends came along side me, and were Jesus to me. Some of them held me, cried with me, were true sisters to me as I processed out the pain of broken family relationships, extreme trauma, and pain.

Previous friends promised they’d be family, and never leave, but when the path had gotten rough, they left me and my husband to walk it alone. Yet, this time… this time it felt different. For the first time, I had a family of sisters, of friends who would stay by my side. They wouldn’t bolt. They had shared my pain. They knew my story.

Shortly after the writing of those letters out – after finally reaching a place of trust again, things changed. Leadership became abusive. Out of obedience to the Lord, I spoke out to the leadership about the things that were careening out of control. Instead of being received, I and my family were ostracized from our “Christian family”.

The very ones who I had trusted, now would not speak to me. My phone number was blocked, and I was unfriended on social media. My family and I were “blessed” to leave. Other close friends were hurting as well from the fall out, so they chose to run. Only two friends stayed along side me. (I’m not saying this to gossip. You can check out my friend, Rebecca Davis’s new book for help with. “Untwisting Scriptures: Book 3 – Your Words, Your Emotions”.) Those are just facts of what happened. It hurt deeply, like a knife digging at my heart.

Shortly after God had given the letters to me, the Lord instructed me to publish them and the stories. Though it was painful, and I didn’t understand why, I choose to trust that God knew what was best and obey despite how I felt. Truly, all I saw was a freshly dug pile of dirt and a tombstone.

The day came for the proof copy to arrive on my door step. As I anxiously ripped open the yellow envelope and held the book in my hand, I felt the pang of gut wrenching grief again. Hot tears welled up in my eyes. “This isn’t the way this was supposed to be,” I lamented.

“I’m proud of you for obeying me,” I heard the still small voice. “Place it in my hands, child. You’ll see why I asked this of you.”

A few weeks later, I found myself chatting with a friend who had just read the book. “Carolyn,” she said. “I loved your book and the encounters you had with the Lord. I really feel you should make this into a class. Do a class combining art with the concepts in your book.”

My mind raced back to the beginning of this year when the Lord told me that I was transitioning out of what I had been doing with my painting classes into something new.

My whole business is based on a dream and vision He gave me on combining the things I’ve learned on my own healing journey, encounters with Him, and art. Yet, the classes I had done before fell short of what burned in me to do.

All of a sudden everything became crystal clear. “Lord, is this what you’ve been trying to tell me? Is this the new direction?”

I decided to reread my own book, pouring through the pages with a new lens. Sure enough, it made perfect sense. Each chapter was a different heart healing principle that I had learned, and the length of the book was perfect for the length of the class. I could even see each art project in conjunction with the healing encounter the Lord desired to do.

He inspired me with a new logo, tag line, and brought together wonderful participants for a beta class to help me work out the details. He even met each of them in our times together with significant, life changing encounters of His love and identity in Him.

Now, where there was once intense pain, there is a dawn of hope. Excitement is beginning to grow over what is to come as I step out into this new direction.

The path has held twists, turns, some loop de loops, deep grief, tears, forgiveness, encounters of love, and moments of joy. At each turn, I’ve learned to release the process into the hands of my loving Heavenly Father trusting Him to help to learn and growing through the journey.

I don’t even think I care much about where point B is anymore. I just want to learn to love well, and receive love daily. Cheek to cheek. Face to face. Heart to heart.

Where just a few months ago all I saw was a burial plot, now I see the first signs of verdant, strong stems popping up from the fertile ground and tender, little rose buds forming on the tips.

Jesus transforms burial plots into rose beds. I’ve seen Him do it again and again. He loves creating beautiful masterpieces out of broken pieces of our of lives, breathing resurrection life into dead bones. Trust Him.

To find out more about “The Invitation” or my new class called “Encounter Art Classes”, check out our website at http://www.blossomingheartsstudio.com.

Letter tiles spelling “Please forgive me”

Christian living, Family, Uncategorized, Visions

Forgiveness Or Judgment

September 11, 2021October 27, 2026 blossomingheartsstudio

This post touches on themes of abuse and violence. Take your time, and be kind to yourself as you read.

Sometimes, we need a paradigm shift because we have been looking at the same thing for most of our life, and then one day, our perspective shifts, and we see it in a different way.

I was reading Luke 23:34. “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” In the TPT, it says while they were nailing Jesus to the cross, He said over and over again, “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.”

Truly, they didn’t know they were crucifying the Son of God, or they never would have done it.

Then, I went to the story of Stephen being stoned, and he lifted his head to heaven and saw Jesus standing at the right hand of the Father. He too said with his dying breath, “Forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.” Acts 7:58

As I read these, the Lord began speaking to me. He wasn’t just talking to the Roman solider who nailed Him to the cross, and Stephen wasn’t just talking to the Jewish leaders who were hurling the stones at them.

Some people insist that for forgiveness to be offered, the one needing it must ask for it. Yet, in both of these very dramatic cases, forgiveness was not only offered to those who didn’t ask for it, but it was offered and even was a plead for the ones who were abusing, who were actively murdering them.

When the US pulled out of Afghanistan and the Taliban rushed in, I was a mess. I felt the abandonment and the extreme anger against our government for leaving people stranded and for the Taliban who have taken over. I knew that it meant the massacre of thousands of believers.

I was so upset that I was making myself sick.

The Lord drew me away to spend time with Him. As I did, I immediately, saw Jesus standing by a lake tossing rocks into it. I thought to myself, “How can you calmly be doing that Lord, when your children are suffering and dying?”

He turned to face me with that compassion flooding through His eyes, and said, “Daughter, I never abandon my children.”

Then, he proceeded to motion me closer, “Come with me.”

For the next day and half, all I could see in my minds eye was the same thing. I saw myself standing in the middle of room with these precious Afghans as they huddled in corners. I saw a glory light all around us with Jesus standing in the middle, and I saw each person with an angel in front of them that as holding them. From the other side of the bubble, I could hear the door bust through, feet shuffle, the clicks of guns being cocked, and the sound of machine guns being fired into the room. As each believer took their last breath, the angel flew them away. It was intense.

Then I heard Jesus say, “Listen.”

With their last breath, I heard, “Forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.”

Could that have just been my overactive imagination? Maybe. But at the end of the second day, I heard, “Enough,” and the vision lifted.

What I believe the Lord was showing me regarding this is that when Jesus willingly laid His life down at the cross He made a way for forgiveness to be given.

Up until that time, mankind’s sins had been appeased. That’s what the animal sacrificial system was all about – temporarily placing the sins or evil of mankind on an innocent animal to appease the just, righteous, holy God until Jesus could come to be that permanent sacrifice.

When Jesus fulfilled that sacrifice, forgiveness is now already in a sense given for anyone who accepts the Son’s sacrifice. We then also get to appropriate that forgiveness to others, making a way for them to come.

Following Jesus’s resurrection, He said in John 20:22, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of anyone they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of anyone, they are retained.”

It’s still their choice whether they receive what the Lord has already done, but it is already a finished work, once and for all, we are forgiven.

So, Stephen when he pronounced the same thing, I believe in a way he was acting like Christ, and making a way for Saul to become Paul.

The Afghan believers in their suffering and spilling of their blood are also acting as Christ, being that same example. I believe it will potentially make a difference in some of the Taliban receiving Christ.

Here’s the thing though. Jesus wasn’t just dismissing the evil being done to Him. He wasn’t just looking the other way. He acknowledged what was done. But He chose to take our place and carry our sins, evils, and make the way for forgiveness to happen, or we would never be able to be reconciled to God.

We also can partner with Jesus in this when are unjustly suffering and choose offer the gift of forgiveness just as we have accepted that gift, perhaps making a way for others as well to receive that forgiveness as well.

We act as His agents on earth to bring the kingdom here. We are His representatives, and we can forgive or not forgive others sins.

If I love my enemies, then I want them to also be able to receive the free gift of salvation as well. I want them also to receive forgiveness.

Do they have to ask for it, well, I believe for them to receive it, then yes, but I have already given it in my heart.

Many times, when someone asks me to forgive them for something they have done wrong, my answer is “I forgave that a long time ago.”

When I come to the Lord asking for forgiveness of my sins or those that I have authority over, like my family line, He has always given it because I believe it is already given. Yet, I still must appropriate it.

Yes, when I receive salvation all my sins have been placed under the blood of Jesus once and for all. That is true. It is also true that His blood is enough for all the sins of the world, and yet, Jesus says, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” This is something I don’t fully understand, because it seems to be a both/and situation.

Just as Jesus came to step into that place for others, I believe we can also partner with Him interceding or stepping in the gap for others, just like He does.

Having been a survivor of severe childhood abuse and trauma, I know very well all the emotions that seek to suck us down into a pit, and I’ve also suffered sorely from the results of others sins against me, and still suffer daily from them in some ways, but I’ve also learned that I can walk with an unoffended heart when I chose to allow God to take the offenses and be the final judge.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t ever experience offense, nor is it wrong for me to be get offended at evil. It’s totally right to be offended at evil, and it’s total right to take action against evil. I just don’t hold on to it. I turn it over to the Lord. I offer forgiveness to the person in my heart, but I still may need to hold them accountable for the wrong done.

For example, a couple of years ago, when my purse was stolen, I just didn’t say, “Oh, I forgive them. Let’s just forget that ever happened.” I called the police and filled a report against them. It is right for the full authority of the law to be applied and the thief held accountable.

So…

Here’s where we can and have very much gone off in a wrong direction with this message of forgiveness.

It doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge evil and look the other way. It doesn’t mean that I don’t hold accountable abusers. If we have the ability to speak up, and hold people accountable for their evil actions, I totally believe we should.

The reason evil was able to flood back into Afghanistan is because the force of good that was holding it back suddenly left. If we don’t act justly, and take action against those who are lawless and evil, then we are allowing that to come to our front door and to take us out.

I know this may sound like a paradox, but just follow me a little longer.

There is a big difference between having a forgiving, non-offended heart, which I think we should all have, while still holding people accountable for their evil actions verses carrying around a heart full of hatred and offense judging the hearts of others or passively sticking our head in the sand because we don’t want to offend anyone or get messy.

The church has done the latter two far too many times, protecting the abusers, while throwing the abused under the bus in the name of God. Many times, the abused are even told that they should just forgive and forget and bear their burden like a good Christian. This is completely against the heart of God.

He tells us to protect those who unprotected, to care for the widows and the orphans which is what are called to do – to act in justice, but love mercy, and walk humbly with God.

Instead in many cases, the church has covered up the nakedness of the abuser to protect their reputations, which have no character to back it up, while throwing the abused out the door.

And we wonder why and how our government and culture has become so corrupt.

We have pulled out the good that was keeping it back and not stood up for those who can’t.

This not only breaks the heart of God, but brings His judgment. And yes, He still judges, even though He has made the way for forgiveness. It’s both/and. Not one or the other.

I’m pretty sure Ananias and Sapphira were judged because they lied to the Holy Spirit, and the holy fear of God fell on the early church. Acts 5

The fierce justice and judgment of God is throughout the Bible. I believe even His judgment is from a place of love. If He didn’t have consequences to the evil that humanity has perpetuated, our race would never have made it to the redemption. We would have destroyed ourselves long ago. Yet, because of Jesus, we now stand in front of the mercy seat. Praise God.

When we truly receive the free gift of forgiveness through Jesus, we can now not only live with a heart set free of our sin nature, we can also be the door for others to be set free as well, by stepping into the position of Jesus and acting as He did.

Whether that is speaking up to the Pharisees to defend the defenseless, or if that’s caring for the wounded on the side of the road, or that’s offering forgiveness when we are suffering for someone else’s sins, we can follow the Holy Spirit’s leading and make a difference in this chaotic world by bringing His kingdom through us.

A kayaker in an orange jacket paddling through white water rapids

Christian living, Family, Uncategorized

Not As Advertised

September 10, 2021 blossomingheartsstudio

“So, how long is that canoe trip tomorrow?” I asked my husband.

“Maybe an hour and a half,” he paused. “They do this all the time. It’ll be fun.” I guess he sensed my hesitation.

The only other time I’ve been on a river was in my twenties on a rafting trip with a guide and a group of college friends. It never crossed my mind that I was signing up for that kind of adventure.

In my mind’s eye, I pictured a relaxing ride winding back and forth on a cool autumn afternoon down the river. Inviting.

Until…. I sat across from my friend who was not going on the trip, as she tried to mentally prepare me for the possibilities that were before me while we waited on the rest of the group who were running late.

“Oh, no. You’ll be on the water at least three hours,” she said. Her eyes shifted back and forth, as she cleared her throat. “And there are some rapids. Didn’t they tell you that?”

“Mmm. No. They forgot to tell me that part.” The Pollyanna image I had was beginning to fade.

My friend’s daughter chimed in. “Oh, they aren’t too bad. Class one, probably.”

“Class one. Not too bad. In a canoe.” My mind rationed back and forth with how I could get out of this commitment.

Yet, I had already said yes to my husband and my kids. I didn’t want them to go it alone.

“Oh, and another thing,” my friend kindly added. “It’s best if you don’t go down in the same canoe as your spouse. It just hasn’t ended well for other couples in the past.”

I could feel my heart thumping in my chest.

All the way to the river, I heard whispering in my head, “You will go in the same canoe as Paul. I want to trust me and get in that boat.”

“Ugh. Lord, please help me.”

I snapped the clips shut down the front of my life jacket and grabbed a paddle.

“You and Paul take that canoe over there,” the leader of the crew said.

“Of course, we will,” I sarcastically thought.

We grabbed the rope to pull the canoe around. Gingerly, I crawled up to the front seat, while Paul hopped in the back to steer.

We weren’t on the river five minutes, when we all realized the water was about half a foot too low.

After climbing over the first fallen tree and then running directly into low lying branches, I shouted again, “Watch out for that…. Oh never, mind,” as we skidded to another stop on the next rock or sandbar.

Finally, we reached some open water to gently float in, and the small voice inside of me began to speak again.

“I created you to be a seer, to look ahead and see what’s coming, and then to communicate that to your husband. You are also to help him carry the load by rowing and adding your strength to his. In order for you to work together, you must stay in sync and communicate. To get down this river together well, you must work in unity, not against each other.”

I paddled a bit more, trying to point out more clearly the hazards I saw ahead. As we continued to make forward progress, the Lord continued.

“Paul’s position is just as important as yours, but different. He is designed to steer the boat, to bear the load of the work, to hop out of the boat and push it when necessary. Both of you are equipped and designed for you to be in these positions. Honor the position I’ve placed you both in.”

If I would not have been paying attention to the obnoxiously large rock in my left Keen, I would have heard the increasing sound of rushing water in front of us. I slipped my shoe off to get rid of the menace at about the same time as I saw one of the teens standing on a rock in the middle of rushing water frantically waving their arms to motion for us to go the right of the jagged rocks like a plane landing on a runway.

Quickly, I slipped my shoe half on, while pressing my knees against the side of the boat to brace myself. My natural reaction was to hold the paddle firmly in front of me, partly from previous experience of rafting in my twenties (which was very different), and partly because we had spent the last thirty some minutes with my husband telling me to hold back, to let him paddle, so he could control the boat better. But as we passed the guide on the rocks, I heard them screaming at me, “Paddle, paddle hard through the rapids.”

Somehow, we traversed the dangerous rocks and water gushing to the bottom of the rapids, only to for me to yell, “There’s a tree…” Bang. “branch,” as we in slow motion flipped the canoe over.

“Catch my shoe. Please grab my shoe,” I screamed as I watched it floating down the river. One of the youthful guys swam to rescue my bobbing sandal. Another grabbed our bag that was now soaked at the bottom of the boat, and secured it with a rope, so we wouldn’t loose it with the next tip over. I’m pretty sure they expected us to get dunked again.

“There aren’t any more rapids like that are there?” I half questioned, half begged the nearest teen.

“Oh, I think this is hardest,” she said reassuringly.

It wasn’t. The next one no one in a canoe made it down without a flip.

I was especially concerned when I saw my daughter standing in the middle of the falls in front of us as they held us back. Her boat had flipped onto of her pinning her to a rock, which I found out after the fact. Adrenaline had been her friend, as she had heaved the boat from her head tossing her glasses with it.

We stopped at sand bar to grab some watermelon and relax. Smiling with satisfaction that we had made it this far. “We’re about halfway,” our guide announced as we climbed back in our canoe.

After about four and half hours with the sun beginning to dip beneath the trees and my body beginning to tremble from exhaustion, I looked over to our guide in the kayak next to us.

“How much longer?”

“When we are done, I guess.”

“Will we back before dark?”

“Hopefully, but if we’re not, then we’re not.”

“There aren’t anymore falls, are there?”

“Oh, there are some at the very end that are really hard, but we are getting off before that because most people are tired by then.”

As I heard that sound of rushing water in front of us yet again, I knew he failed to tell me about the set that were between us and the exit point that weren’t quite as difficult.

I was super tempted to jump out of the boat and walk down the rocks to the place we were getting out. But then I thought of my dear husband in the back, and I knew we had to finish together.

At the top, we suddenly began to flip around to go down backwards, but struggling again the current, we were able to turn it around, only to get stuck on the first rock down.

“Dear Jesus, please don’t let us flip again.”

I pushed with the little strength I had left against the rock, as Paul hung out the opposite side to keep us from going over. The canoe finally began to break free of the rock, and I dug the paddle into the water as hard as I could adding my strength to the man in the back to create momentum in the raging water as we skidded over the last few falls. Cheers went up as we crashed into the churning water at the bottom and floated to a halt.

“We did it. We finally finished.”

Sometimes the things we go through in life are not as advertised.

Yet, once you say yes to the adventure and hop in that boat, you are committed for the whole ride, whatever may come – trees in front of you, sand bars, rocks, rapids, slips and falls.

We can’t control the river. We can only control our reactions to it. You can’t just jump out and say, “I’m done.” No matter what comes, we are in this together.

And when we get to the rapids, that’s the time to really row.

It’s also really important for me to honor the voice behind me and in most cases follow his lead, but there are times I need to make some decisions; yet in that, be clear and communicate what I’m doing. It’s important for me to honor, encourage, and listen to the one steering the boat, and trust he is trying his best to steer us in the right direction.

One of us is designed to be the one steering the boat. It is his design to offer the most strength and make the final decisions on where this boat is going. We both can’t do that. It means disaster if we try.

It’s not that one job is more important than the other, but the one steering has to make those final decisions for the trip to work.

If the one steering will trust the one in the front and listen to what is seen ahead and accept the help, then we will avoid a lot more rocks, branches, and go down the falls easier, but if he doesn’t, we both will suffer.

It only makes things harder if each criticizes the other because we are both just trying to help each other get down the river. The only way to make it down through the hazards of the river in one piece is to value and honor our different design, celebrate it even, and encourage each other to do our best. That’s loving each other well.

When one gets tired, the other pulls more weight for a while and vice versa. We must work together as a team to finish well, accomplishing what we are destined to do.

Will we flip out of the boat? Yes. Yes, we will. Probably a few times. We will hit rocks, get stuck, run into branches, beach on sandbars, slip and possibly fall, and traverse rapids.

Yet we have on our life jackets, we have each other with a helping hand up, and we have a community of people who have been down this river many times before and know it much better than us who are there to offer their wisdom, advice, and help if we are willing to take it. They will be there to cheer us on in the end. We also have some big angels to give us a little push in the right direction.

Obviously, there’s a lot of application to marriage here, but the truth is we live in some very turbulent times. I can hear the rushing water ahead, and I know there are some more rapids coming. The Lord is the one who said to get in the boat, and He will help us get down this river in one piece. Yet, we will make it much easier on ourselves if we work together in unity, honoring the different designs and functions we are made for, and help one another in love.

We are going down this river one way or the other.

So grab that paddle and hop in that boat. It’s the adventure of a lifetime.

Two people working beside tents among rubble and debris

Christian living, Uncategorized, Visions

In My Messy Conversation…

August 30, 2021October 27, 2026 blossomingheartsstudio

This post gently touches on themes of abuse. Take your time, and be kind to yourself as you read.

I drove into my friend’s driveway. A terrible storm had ripped through her yard, uprooting a large oak tree and laying the roots on their side. Siding from surrounding buildings, glass, trash was strewn all over the yard.

Now, this friend keeps her yard meticulous. She could be a top interior and exterior designer.

As I stepped out of the car, I saw her bent over, wiping sweat from her brow, as she thrust the next handful of trash into the almost full bag. Her face – tight. Her eyes – weary. She had lost someone she loved dearly a few weeks prior. I knew she was at the end of herself in many ways. My heart ached with her.

I smiled and waved hello, right as an elderly woman marched across the street and stood belligerent with her hands on her hips in front of my friend who had slowly reached down yet again to put trash into the bag.

The woman began ranting at my friend, accusing her of never keeping her yard up to the community standards, of being a slob. I saw my friend’s face grow red with embarrassment as she bowed her head.

In defense, I stepped in-between the neighbor and my friend, shielding her from further attack. I looked straight into the old woman’s condemning eyes as she glared back.

“Either you get off this property, or I call the police.” I calmly, but firmly said.

She started to rail at me.

I held my ground. “You are on private property. You don’t have the right to be here. Get out.” I continued to speak, as I pulled my phone from my pocket and began dialing 911. I was so mad, beyond mad.

Then, I woke up. It had all been a dream. And I’ve been wrestling this out with the Lord every since.

Even as I’m writing this out, I see it from so many angles, and I’m asking God to search my heart and show me my own stuff that needs to be dealt with.

In our world right now, there are so many injustices being done. So many people I love hurting who have lost loved ones, who have destructive storms that have ripped through their lives. I’ve had a few of my own.

And I’m angry. I didn’t realize how much.

I’m angry seeing evil in our governmental and religious systems hurting people, allowing people to be massacred, forcing people into doing things they don’t believe are right for them or their families.

I’m also angry and grieving for others with family members on vents, suffering, partly because of what appears to be a failed health care system, partly because of a bad virus. Yet, also seeing their choices villianized and accusations flying against them for their choices.

I’m angry watching a religious system many times eating their own – “spirit cannibalism” as Heidi Baker once called it. Like the woman in the dream, coming to curse her neighbor who is hurting, instead reaching out a helping hand in her time of suffering. Why are we so quick to condemn, judge and jury our neighbors, or maybe someone we have never even met?

On a very personal level, I’m mamma bear angry because someone dear to me is considering walking away from their faith because they never felt they could measure up to the religious yard stick.

I cried out to God this morning, because if I’m honest, I’m really angry about a lot of things. And growing up in an abusive home, being angry was not allowed. I suffered if I showed anger, badly.

So, I stuffed it. I learned to stuff it very well. I learned to live life looking good on the outside, yet falling apart with anger, helplessness, powerlessness, fear, terror, on the inside.

And now in the middle of this chaotic world of a mess, Jesus is looking at me the way that undoes my heart, and is telling me it’s OK to be angry at evil.

It’s right to be angry at the nasty neighbor who is tearing apart my friend’s heart, much like the storm did her yard. It’s right to stand my ground and demand her leave, because she is trespassing. He is actually angry too, and wants me to stand up for my friend’s rights. He doesn’t want me to put up with the bully.

Can I say here I know who the real bully is – the enemy? “We don’t fight against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces, and darkness of the age.” Eph. 6:12 Yet, when a person has yielded to that darkness, it may mean I need to stand up to them too. I may need to say, “That’s not allowed. You are trespassing and you must get off.”

When good withdraws, evil will rush in.

Did I even realize that I could love and be angry at the same time? Be angry and sin not. Eph. 4:26 Don’t allow that anger to turn into cursing or condemning. Don’t allow it to pull me off the course of love, and yet it was right to feel it.

I saw Jesus hand me a punching bag this morning in the spirit. “Here, let it all out here, and now sit down with me, and let’s talk.” Does God do that? Apparently.

I’m not in a place of listing all the scriptures of times God got angry in the Bible and still was love, but I’d encourage you to maybe do that. I know for certain Jesus got angry with the religious leaders and others a lot and yet still it was out of love, even to the point of making a whip and driving our moneychangers from the temple. Yet, to those who were hurting, sick, in need and knew it, He was gentle, kind, loving, their healer and deliverer.

What does it look like for us to allow ourselves that emotion and still love others well?

I think this will be a topic I need to walk out with the Lord for a while, as I ‘m pretty sure we are meant to defend the defenseless, stand up for righteousness and justice, set people free. There may be some emotions of anger at evil and the effects of it, as I walk that out. I’m pretty sure God is OK with that.

In my messy conversation with Him, I heard this in my heart. Weigh it for yourself, but I believe it was the Lord speaking this to me.

Child,

I understand the struggle with in you, but let love win.

I understand the anger, the hatred even of sin, and it’s right to be angry, but don’t let it lead to sin in your own heart. Let love win.

I understand the anger you feel at the religious system. I have been angry with it too, the religious/business system that uses people and then spits them out when they don’t hit the mark. I abhor that system. It has nothing to do with love, life, or freedom, which is why it is failing. You have every right to be angry.

I understand your anger of a government that just abandoned thousands of people and left their own weapons for them to be used against them to murder my kids. I’m angry too.

I’m angry when any of my children are persecuted, held against their will, raped, manipulated, controlled, mouths taped up, body parts torn apart and then sold, children trafficked for sexual pleasure. Daughter, all of humanity’s evils are before my eyes and I see it all as one. And yes, I get livid – any loving Father would.

Love gets angry, but it doesn’t lose its way or get off track in that anger.

Don’t be overcome by evil. Overcome evil with good.

The thing is I also have my son’s sacrifice before me, and His sacrifice was enough to cover all of those sins, those evils. It doesn’t dismiss them, like they don’t happen, but it makes a way for those who receive what He has done to become my children and to be truly free from that system.

Sweetheart, love overcomes evil. Not anger. Love does. Patience does. Kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, truth, joy, goodness, self-control. Nothing is a more powerful offensive weapon than the power of love. That’s why I said love your enemies. Do good to those who persecute you.

It doesn’t mean that you’ll never be angry, nor that I want you to be silent. I need you to speak truth in love. I need the whistleblowers. I need those who will stand up for justice, righteousness, and not be swayed in that.

But even in the middle of the standing up, to do so in love, to do so with kindness. If you give into the spirit of offense, then you will become like the offender. That’s not who you are.

Be angry, but don’t let that anger keep you from loving people right in the middle of it. Speak out, but when you do, point them to me.

Forgive people when they don’t deserve it, because they don’t know what they are doing. They don’t know they are puppets in a different master’s hands. Release their ultimate judgment to me.

Fight the good fight against the real enemy, the spiritual strongholds in the heavenly realms. And yet, sometimes that means holding people accountable to the just consequences of their behavior.

Let love win. In you. In the way you love others. In the way you love me.

It’s right to grieve the effects of evil in this world. Blessed are they who mourn for they will be comforted.

I love you. Let live win.

Papa

Abstract blue and white fluid painting with a brown heart-like shape at its center

Christian living, prophecy, Visions

The Womb of God

July 11, 2021July 11, 2021 blossomingheartsstudio

“Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child; Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed; For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous Than the sons of the married woman,” says the Lord. Isaiah 54:1 NASB

Several months ago, while spending some time with the Lord, I suddenly saw this image of the Holy Spirit with a womb. Inside the womb was the universe – everything ever created.

As I questioned the Lord about what I was seeing, I heard “Everything is birthed in and through the Holy Spirit.”

Still, I found it hard to picture the Holy Spirit with a womb.

Until the following day…

Randomly, I popped into a conference for a session at a friend’s invitation. The first thing rolling off the teacher’s lips were “The universe is in the womb of the Holy Spirit.” I went bug-eyed for a few minutes.

The painting above has invoked a lot of different responses. Some hate it, some think it’s making some kind of political statement, others think it depicts “Mother Earth” giving birth, and still others find it moving, life-giving, profound. Art is supposed to do that I suppose. For me, I was compelled to paint to the best of my ability what I saw, except what I saw didn’t include the image of the baby.

When I began to paint, I kept seeing the image of an infant, an unborn fetus overlapping the universe. I honestly fought it. I tried multiple times to paint it the way I wanted to, but each time I met failure, until I went with what the Spirit was leading me toward. Even the placement of the womb seemed to high for me, but then came the whisper, “I birth things from My heart.”

So, it’s been almost two months since I was compelled to paint it. Yet, last month, the God of the Universe seemed quiet about it all. Crickets, really. Like He was just enjoying the wait, the watching.

Until yesterday morning…

I was preparing to go to a friend’s to pray over some land. I heard distinctly, play “Isaiah’s Song”, so I did.

As I was listening, the words played over and over. “What was a barren season is giving birth right now.” Then, immediately I heard to share that with a specific friend who has gone through a painful season. “Ok? That was pretty strong,” I thought.

A few minutes later, I found myself texting a friend – just a “How are you?” kind of text. I looked down at the phone. The time read 11:11, which to me are alignment numbers, and those very same words were playing again.

At the prayer event, we took turns reading scripture. It’s our second time being apart of this group. The first time was towards the beginning of this year. As my husband and I walk into the room the readers were were finishing up Song of Songs and beginning to read Isaiah.

“Lord, if you have me read about the barren woman giving birth, I may burst.”

People came into read, we add an extra, another person is randomly skipped, and my turn comes around. I begin to read Isaiah 53, and as the words regarding Messiah leave my lips, I flashed back to several months prior. I had read the exact same passage.

I flipped the thin page. “Shout for joy, oh barren one,” I choked up, but tried to hold it together. “For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous than the sons of the married woman.”

So, what does all this mean?

I’ve learned NOT to try to figure out visions or prophetic words, especially timing and how things will all work out, because quite honestly I’ve got about a 5% accuracy rate. 😊

Yet, this what I do sense the Holy Spirit is saying. All things created are birthed through the Holy Spirit. We are in a new season. The season of barrenness is over. The season of birthing is here.

Birthing involves a lot of things. Travail. Transitions. Water Breaking. Pushing. Baby breaking forth. Hope. Promises fulfilled. Beautiful new life. New dreams for the future.

This is the season I believe we are in as the body of Christ. The Lord of Host is birthing His plans and purposes in the Earth right now, and they will not be thwarted or delayed. It’s not us doing it. It is by His strength and ability that this new season and new birthing will occur.

“Shout for joy.” The birthing season is finally here.

An American flag waving against a blue sky and trees

Christian living, Family, prophecy, Seasonal, Uncategorized

“Blow Out Your Candles”

July 4, 2021July 4, 2021 blossomingheartsstudio

“I’m moving in you. I’m moving in you. Happy Birthday to you. Blow out your candles. I’m moving in you.” – Rachel P.

Freedom. Everyone wants it. Yet freedom always cost something.

Our country’s very foundational fabric was woven with the blood and sacrifice of families – families with a dream – a dream of a land where their children would be free of persecution of tyranny, freedom to worship God without a King breathing down their neck, freedom of speech (not to just speak whatever you want, but freedom to speak up against injustice, for your rights, etc.), freedom to gather together, freedom to bear arms to protect yourself, freedom to choose those who lead our country, freedom to prosper financially by owning your business and property without worry that the government would steal it, etc…

This dream for our country, I firmly believe is Yahweh’s dream. America is God’s dream. He still loves our land. He meant for it to be “a light on a hill” to the nations for His glory.

I still believe that He’s not done yet.

A Recent Wild Vision: “I’m Not Done Yet”

Yes. I understand that their have been generations who have been oppressed in our country.

There have been many evils, vices, and darkness that have tried to destroy these dreams, these freedoms, and our country. Enemies seem to attack from every side. Fascism fractions and socialism from within. Communism. Racism. There are many “isms”. Hatred. Selfish ambitions. Etc.

Essentially, it is impossible to even attain and maintain these freedoms without moral character. Moral character is based on an acknowledgement of right and wrong – truths that are unchangeable and originate in our Creator.

“Freedom” based on just the desire to do what I want to do when I want to do it is not true freedom, but results in selfish pursuits spiraling into degradation.

The dream of our forefathers for freedom was one of opportunity – an opportunity to be all God created us to be outside the thumb of an oppressor.

Ultimately, true freedom is found in a loving relationship with our Creator through Jesus Christ. He came to set us free from oppression – the oppression of sin, of the enemy. He indeed has already bought our freedom. He paid the ultimate price for our freedom, because of His great love for us. All we have to do is receive that freedom and allow Him to apply it to every area of our lives.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
‭‭John‬ ‭8:36‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So, back to the word from this morning. Though there has been much controversy from leaders regarding the future of our country, I still believe God is not only moving in our land, but He is not done with our country. And ultimately, He is going to fulfill His plan and will for our country as we partner with Him to see that will accomplished.

Don’t give up hope. Turn your eyes upon the Lord. Trust Him. Shine light.

Happy birthday, America! Blow out your candles. God’s not done with you yet!

Christian living, Family, prophecy, Uncategorized, Visions

Sunrises

June 17, 2021June 17, 2021 blossomingheartsstudio

“Lord, I need to see a sunrise at the beach.” Those words have been slipping from my lips a few times recently. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen that beautiful scene in that setting.

So, when on vacation, I’m the one rolling out of bed at 5:00 am to go strolling on the beach to see the sunrise. Yeah – that one – the one grabbing my ball cap, pulling it over my bed head hair, slipping on my flip flops, and practically escaping like a bandit out in my pjs.

To me, sunrises on the beach represent hope, dreams, a new day dawning. And when I’m there, I just can’t wait to see the ball of fire piercing the horizon. Though the last few times we have been to the beach, the morning horizon has been clouded with storms, and the sunrise – hidden, I’ve still been out there, hoping, waiting, expecting.

I know it’s still there, of course. The sun is still rising behind those grey clouds, but it’s just not the same as seeing the blazing glory waking up the world.

So, I’ve been complaining a bit to the Lord… It has felt like cloudy, stormy, grey skies for a long time now, blocking the promises, the dreams, the hopes of God.

Delay after delay after delay of things I know the Lord has promised. Sometimes, it has felt my hope has wained. I wonder how Abraham, the Father of our faith, managed to not only keep his faith alive, but to actually grow in faith of the fulfillment of the promises.

At the beginning of summer, I pulled the covers up to my chin, and sleepily said once more, “Lord, I could really use a sunrise at the beach,” meaning I really could use some hope, some glimmer that these crazy promises from you will be fulfilled.

Immediately, the Lord shot back, “Carolyn, the sun rises every morning. Why don’t you get out of bed and come see it?”

The moment of decision came. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, slipped on my shorts, pushed my ball cap over my head, and shoved on my tennis shoes.

I don’t live anywhere near the beach, but I have a peaceful golf course of rolling, grassy hills that a neighbor introduced to me to within walking distance.

I padded down the twisting, dewy path, past an old country club, up and down the hills to the back of the course, and around a mist-covered pond with geese floating across it. Disturbed by my intrusion, the flock took flight. The rhythmic beating of their wings and honks filled the air as the majestic birds flew over my head .

The early morning sun’s rays glowed on the grassy hill ahead of me. I quickened my steps so not to miss the moment.

It happens in a moment you know, that precise time when the sun peaks over the horizon line.

As I rounded the bend, reaching the top of the hill, I turned to face east. There in front of me, the rays began peeking through the trees like shining beams of liquid gold.

The simple beauty caught my breath for a moment.

“Wow, Papa! I had forgotten.”

A couple of weeks passed of the me encountering the sunrise, but my heart still felt heavy with the longing of the specific sunrise I had asking for – the specific promises that remain unfulfilled.

I felt the Lord beckon me again, but this time as I began to climb the final hill to where the sun’s rays had already begun to cause to ground to glow, the Lord’s voice rung strong in my ears.

“Sweetheart, why don’t you just enjoy the sunrise I give you, instead of longing for something different, “ I felt a pause, and then He continued.

“Daughter, the sun is always rising where ever you are. The rising and the setting are every day. I am present with you in every moment. Stop longing for what you don’t have, but look for what I am doing today.”

“Look for me in this day dear one, and at the right time, you’ll have your beach sunrise again – in my time, in my way.”

I walked further down the path as He continued. “I will give you hope for the promises to be fulfilled, and I will fulfill those promises at the right time. Both come from me. Don’t be discouraged that it’s not happening the way you think or at the place you think. I am always at work. I’m in every moment, in every sunrise, in every sunset, and I will not disappoint you.”

“If you keep your focus on what you don’t have, you will miss me in the moment called today.”

I continued to walk down over a bridge and then back up another hill, while a hawk swooped near by.

“Life is about journeying with me. Not a destination. At each promise fulfilled, there will be a new horizon in front of you to reach. This is for all eternity, not just your journey on earth. There will always be a journey with me, a new adventure in me, growth in me, new horizons with me for eternity.”

I allowed His words to sink deeply into my heart.

I have a tendency to always be looking to what’s not completely healed, what’s still broken or incomplete, or what I don’t have yet, like the next goal or the next horizon, to the point that I miss Him in the moments many times.

He is always working in our lives, journeying with us, healing us, comforting us, encouraging us, and forming us into the beautiful sons and daughters that He has created us to be.

Yet, if we are always discouraged about what hasn’t happened yet – the promises that aren’t fulfilled, the healing that hasn’t manifested yet, the pain that still lingers, etc., then we will miss what He has done and is doing on the journey where we are at. We will miss the sunrises and sunsets. We will miss the thousand ways that He is at work in us.

Paul said that he had learned to be content or at peace in whatever circumstance He found himself in.

Whether hungry or well fed, whether healed or having just been beaten, etc., he had learned the art of seeing Jesus in his “moments”. He kept his eyes fixed on his Lord and what he was doing today.

“Savor”, “relish”, “taste and see” the Lord’s goodness every day, the glimmers of His presence in our every day.

Think about “Whatever is good, lovely, of a good report…” That’s seeing our Lord in the present, and enjoying what He is doing.

That’s living in the Kingdom, and seeing things from His perspective.

Have you ever just looked back sometimes to see how much you have grown, to see how far you have come?
It’s a beautiful thing to see the good fruit of the Holy Spirit’s work in your life.

Ask Yahweh to show you. Ask Him to show you the glimmers, His involvement in your day to day life. Even in the mundane of life.

Like when your teens crowd your bedroom for a late night chat, or in the washing of the dishes with the clean, smooth, gleam of the porcelain in your hands, or in the unexpected call of a friend, etc.. It may not come in the way you expected or the place you expect, but He is there. He is at work bring about His good plans for our lives.

He is always present, always good, always working for our good.

May you savor the sunrise wherever you find yourself today, discover Yahweh in your moments, and trust Him to fulfill His promises over your life in His perfect timing and way.